The Quiet Power of Confidence
Have you ever walked out of a meeting thinking, I should’ve said more?
I have. Especially as a woman in tech (sometimes the only woman in the room), I used to mistake confidence for volume, believing the most assertive voice in the room must be the most certain one.
Only with time, experience, and work on my inner self, I’ve learned that confidence isn’t always loud. Sometimes it shows up quietly, in presence, in listening, in a decision made without fanfare.
To me, confidence is the clarity that comes when you trust your own judgment, even when others are still asking questions.
Redefining confidence
In their book The Confidence Code, Katty Kay and Claire Shipman describe confidence as “the stuff that turns thoughts into action.” That line stayed with me.
In tech, where knowledge and precision are often seen as power, this definition feels liberating. Confidence isn’t about always knowing the answer. It’s about trusting yourself enough to act even when you don’t have all the answers.
I used to think confidence meant showing strength. Now I see it as being comfortable with vulnerability. Admitting that you’re learning. Asking a question when everyone else stays silent. That’s confidence too.
The quiet gestures of confidence
Quiet confidence doesn’t need validation. It’s steady and grounded. It sounds like:
Sharing your perspective, even when you’re unsure how it will land.
Asking the question that might slow things down, because it matters.
Saying no when something isn’t aligned, even if it’s unpopular.
Those small moments may not be celebrated, but they change how others see you and how you see yourself.
Why it matters for women in tech
Many of us enter rooms where we’re the minority, where expectations are higher, or where we feel pressure to prove we belong. In those moments, confidence isn’t a performance. It’s an anchor.
It helps us make space for nuance, empathy, and thoughtfulness in environments that often reward speed and certainty. Quiet confidence creates trust. It gives permission for others to lead differently too.
How to build it
Confidence grows in action, not in theory. Start small.
Reflect at the end of each week: when did I act with quiet confidence?
Notice the moments when you hesitate, then speak up anyway.
Ask for feedback not to seek approval, but to keep learning.
Celebrate progress, not perfection.
Over time, these moments stack up. Confidence becomes less about proving and more about being.
What I believe
When more women in tech lead with quiet confidence, we shift cultures. We create teams where people listen, not just talk. We make decisions grounded in clarity, not noise.
Confidence is not the absence of doubt. It’s the presence of self-trust.
💡 Reflection Task
This week, notice one moment when you held back because you didn’t feel ready.
Ask yourself: what would quiet confidence do instead?
Write down the answer. Try it next time.
👇 Join the conversation
What does quiet confidence look like for you? Share your thoughts in the comments or inside The S.E.L.F. Factory Circle — where women in tech grow through reflection and honest conversation.
📚 RELATED RESOURCES (for The Quiet Power of Confidence)
🔖 Books to Explore
The Confidence Code by Katty Kay & Claire Shipman — a modern classic on how women build authentic confidence in life and work.
Buy on Amazon → https://amzn.to/43yygZPDaring Greatly by Brené Brown — a powerful look at vulnerability, courage, and the freedom that comes from imperfection.
Buy on Amazon →
